


Joshua 1:9 : “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

by iZombi



Series: Powerwolf Werewolf AU (With OCs) [6]
Category: Powerwolf (Band)
Genre: Character Background, Crying, Death, Emotional Numbness, F/M, Gen, Grief, Healing, Illness, New family members, Pack Bonding, Slow recovery, Sobbing, Time Hopping, Time Skips, begging to god, but never following through, emotional and mental healing, explanation of a character, finding a new, loss of a family unit, loss of a loved one, loved one succumbing, new bonds, purpose in life, strengthening pre-existing bonds, their background and, their motives in life, thinking of suicide, to illness and death, wanting to take one’s life, watching your kids die, watching your lover die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:27:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29686707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iZombi/pseuds/iZombi
Summary: In a long-forgotten past, Attila had cubs of his own and a mate of whom he held close and dear to his heart, he cherished them, he loved onto them, he poured out his soul to them. However, the day that they were ripped from his hands will forever be one ingrained into his mind, one he will never forget, and one that will forever change the way he viewed the world around him…
Relationships: Attila Dorn (Powerwolf) / Charles Greywolf (Powerwolf), Attila Dorn (Powerwolf) / Falk Maria Schlegel (Powerwolf), Attila Dorn (Powerwolf) / Matthew Greywolf (Powerwolf), Attila Dorn (Powerwolf) / Roel Van Helden (Powerwolf), Charles Greywolf (Powerwolf) / Roel Van Helden (Powerwolf), Falk Maria Schlegel (Powerwolf) / Charles Greywolf (Powerwolf), Falk Maria Schlegel (Powerwolf) / Matthew Greywolf (Powerwolf), Falk Maria Schlegel (Powerwolf) / Roel Van Helden (Powerwolf), Matthew Greywolf (Powerwolf) / Charles Greywolf (Powerwolf), Matthew Greywolf (Powerwolf) / Roel Van Helden (Powerwolf)
Series: Powerwolf Werewolf AU (With OCs) [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171505
Kudos: 2





	Joshua 1:9 : “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

**Author's Note:**

> TW: DEATH OF A LOVER, GRIEF, WATCHING YOUR LOVER DIE, EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS, THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE (BUT NEVER FOLLOWING THROUGH…)
> 
> **PLEASE, IF THESE THINGS BOTHER YOU OR CAUSE YOU DISCOMFORT THEN PLEASE REFRAIN FROM READING OR TAKE CAUTION IF YOU DO WISH TO READ.
> 
> \- - -

In a far and long-forgotten past, Attila Dorn had a mate, she was a human female that had stumbled upon him by accident while out in the woods,

The two locked eyes with one another, neither dared move as they watched the other, eventually she grew curious and bent down closer to him, she knelt on the ground and extended her hand to him, cooing to him to come closer and that she wasn’t a threat,

Attila had a pack back at home to tend to, and extreme late-night strolls for a lone alpha Lycan to be made by himself were dangerous but they _were_ the _only thing_ that by far calmed his mind that would not cease to wonder,

He looked at the woman with his bright yellow wolfish eyes, and gave a small huff, carefully he stepped closer and smelled her hand,

She smelt of lilacs and of the earth,

She smelled like home, his home… _nature_ …

He closed his eyes when she gently placed her fingers on his snout and slowly caressed it, her tender actions were noted by Attila and he strangely felt himself relax under her touch,

And she came closer to him, petting, stroking, and caressing his fur as she went,

Her compassionate and loving nature was intoxicating to Attila, and he slowly found himself laying down, and allowing the strange woman to get closer to him while still petting him,

Eventually, and Attila could not recall how or why, but they eventually left each other’s sides to go back to each of their respective homes, all the while taking glances at each other as they went,

And it continued like this for many moons, Attila would sneak out extremely late at night to meet the strange human woman, and slowly they grew to like one other’s presence,

So much so that Attila spoke to her for the first time in almost a year,

She jumped back in surprise when she realized that the beast before her could speak, and together they conversed about various things that they liked, disliked, and enjoyed,

Attila slowly found out more about himself from the woman than he did of himself, and he grew to learn and know more about her as well,

Often the two would exchange stories of their childhood and lives,

Their strange bond grew ever stronger as the days, weeks, months, and years went by,

Until one day, Attila couldn’t stand being able to see her only at night, he wanted her,

No-

He _needed_ her by his side,

He loved her so much and he adored how every time she would laugh, he could feel himself grow giddy and excited like a child again,

She made him feel young again and that was something that was rare for an old Lycan like him,

And so, he decided that he didn’t want to live the rest of his life without her,

He took it upon himself to ask for her hand in marriage, surprised at first, she asked if he was being serious,

To which Attila replied that he was as serious as the sound of her beating heart,

She smiled and nodded, telling him that she too loved him very much and would absolutely enjoy being with him, to become his dearly beloved,

Attila practically beamed with joy when he heard her words, he gave her his best non-threatening toothy smile,

He himself officiated the wedding in the middle of the forest, being a priest and all,

Once it was all said and done he told her of how she should go home for tonight and come back here in the morning where she would be introduced to his pack, and she would be made an official member of the family,

She nodded and they parted ways, both their hearts longing for each other,

In the following morning, she was introduced by Attila to the pack and were all told of how she was his bride, which meant that she was to be a part of the pack,

Roel and Falk took the news the easiest, Roel welcomed her on the spot with wide open arms as he enjoyed having a large family and didn’t really see anything wrong with it,

Falk did tell Attila that although he was a tiny bit worried about her being in the pack, he trusted his alpha after all and knew that he made decisions that were for the better of the pack,

Matthew was the one to ask questions if this whole thing was alright, about potential betrayal, of what other humans would think, about the possibility of hunters, or someone searching for her,

But Attila and his bride were able to put all those questions to rest with viable and solid answers that made Matthew feel better and not as worried about the idea of having her in the pack,

Charles was still a bit skeptical about the whole thing, he never believed in the idea of soul mates, nor in love at first sight and thought that it would all end horribly but tried to keep an open mind for his brother’s sake,

Eventually, a small ceremony was held to officially welcome her into the pack, as per the Christian-Lycanthropic religion of the Lycans,

The occasion was celebrated by everyone, including Charles,

Everyone welcomed the new member to the pack, and they all wondered what her presence in their lives would bring them,

Five years later, Attila was given three beautiful and healthy babies by his mate, two little girls, and a lone boy,

He was incredibly proud and overjoyed to be a father, he adored his kids more than anything in his entire life, as they made him feel alive,

However, it was only a couple of months later that he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right with his mate and cubs,

Every time he tried to suppress the feeling and tell himself that they were ok, it would come back to him in waves, each time stronger than the last,

Until he couldn’t deal with it anymore and go over to where he and his beloved slept, he found her pale, incredibly fatigued, and impossibly weak,

This horrified him, it shook him to his very core,

He rushed to her side but was told to not come too close by his mate,

He asked her why and she said that it was being she was dying,

He was in disbelief, “ _How could you possibly be dying my love? It’s impossible…”_ he told her, shaking his head,

She coughed again, harder this time, it shook her whole body and it terrified Attila to see her like this, devoid of her usual strength,

She told him that she wasn’t lying,

That she was in fact dying,

And she knew what it was,

Attila told her that it was good, that it was a start! That they could go to a doctor and-

She stopped him, telling him that what she had was a disease that had existed in her family for a long, long time and that it was inevitable that she too would eventually succumb to it,

Attila’s whole world shattered around him at the news,

He asked her how long she thought that she would have left in this world with him,

She told him five years or less, it all depended on just how aggressive the disease was and how her body would handle it,

Attila sobbed at the news,

He didn’t want to believe that in five years or less that the love of his life would leave his side,

That he would have to live without her,

He didn’t want to face it,

He couldn’t…

And she wasn’t wrong when she presented him with the information that she did when she was alive,

It only took about a year for cancer inside of her body to eat her alive,

It ravaged her like a wolf to a stake,

Week by week he could see her grow weaker and weaker until she was completely bedridden, unable to move around and do anything, it was up to Attila to raise his cubs himself,

And every night he would cry himself to sleep by her side when his cubs would ask him where their momma was, and why she wasn’t playing with them,

He couldn’t bear to tell them that their mother would die,

He just couldn’t,

One day, Attila awoke first to find that his beloved was unresponsive to any type of stimuli he inflicted on her,

And he knew why,

He felt his heart sink into the deepest, darkest, and cavernous depth of the abyss when he did not feel his beloved’s pulse, nor did he hear her heartbeat,

His whole world froze for a second time in his life, and he sobbed hard as he lay next to her body,

He begged to the gods above to spare her and to bring her back to him,

To take him instead,

He couldn’t live on without her,

She was everything to him,

She was his whole world and she had been torn from him,

And what he did not know was that soon his beloved cubs would follow their mother’s fate, albeit a lot sooner in their lives,

A month passed since his beloved’s death and in it had also passed one of his cubs, one of his girls,

It tore Attila apart but he stayed strong for the two that remained,

Another month later, the second one of his cubs passed on, the other female, he was now left with his son, the only living reminder of the one thing he loved,

His protective instincts where through the roof, he stayed by his son’s side day in and day out, never leaving the den to care for his boy,

After those two deaths, about a month later, came a day that Attila’s pack had come home after a successful hunt only to find their alpha on the floor weeping as they held the body of their deceased son,

the same cancer that took his wife and daughters away, had now taken away from him his only pride and joy left in his life,

Days, weeks, and months came to pass since their deaths and although Attila did look like he was somewhat back to ‘normal’ to his pack members, that couldn’t be any farther from the truth,

Like every night, late at night while they all slept,

Attila would venture out and far from the den, into the woods until he would eventually come across the territory of Lycan Hunters,

He would often sit at the very edge of their territory, still hidden by the cover of night in the woods and just watch them,

He often thought about just walking towards them and laying on the ground,

Allowing for them to ravage his body and kill him,

_Death_ …

Oh, what a lovely idea and concept it was to Attila, he knew that with it he would be able to move on from his cruel life and see them again,

His wife, his mate, and his three cubs,

All waiting for him in the loving arms of the lord above who resided in heaven,

But…

As tantalizing as the idea was,

Something _always_ prevented Attila from following through with it,

Every night he’d come and just stare, watching the human Lycan hunters prepare their equipment and sharpen their blades,

But he _never_ once approached them, his death, he never once approached it,

Instead, every night, just before the sun would rise, he would head back to his den where the others would be waiting for him and there he would greet them as though a few minutes ago he wasn’t planning his death,

And it took him a while to understand just _why_ he didn’t kill himself just outright,

But he finally understood why,

It was because they were his family,

Yes, he had lost his first original family but he still had one that was still very much alive,

One of which still needed his strength and his wisdom to guide them through their lives,

And Attila understood this, for God, his God at least, had put him in this world for a reason, and although he did not understand what that reason was, he knew that he couldn’t leave his god’s plan unfinished,

He was walking this path for a reason, and Attila sought to see it till the very end,

So, he did his best in his healing process and began spending fewer and fewer nights out and stayed in more with his pack,

Strengthening his bonds with them and loving onto them the same way that his god did to him,

If you told Attila that ten years after the death of his beloved mate that he would find three humans who would teach him the meaning of love, to enjoy life, and to live in the moment,

He most likely would’ve bitterly laughed at the concept and not had believed you,

But now?

Now he did because it was these three humans that filled him with that long-lost re-invigoration for life,

That zest and thirst to live that he thought he had lost all those years ago,

And now? Now he planned on keeping them safe,

All of them,

His pack and his humans,

They would all be kept safe with him, he had to, because he _loved them_ …


End file.
